Is It Wrong For a Couple To Have Sex Anally or Orally?

Oral sex is increasingly popular, especially with the younger generation. Many young adults consider it no more forbidden than kissing. This is a good reminder that parents should not only teach their children about abstinence but explain to them that oral sex is still sex and is not permissible before marriage. Statistically, 61 percent of teenage girls claim to have performed oral sex.(1)

Numerous studies I checked show oral sex as a common activity between both married and unmarried couples.

Oral sex is only acceptable between a married couple. Despite being 3,000 years old and written in a highly conservative culture, some Bible scholars find references to this activity in the Song of Solomon. Poetic references are found in Song of Solomon 2:3, 4:12-5:1; 7:2. For a husband and wife, this is an acceptable act of foreplay. though it shouldn’t develop into a frequent substitute for normal sexual relations.

Anal sex is increasingly discussed, accepted and practiced in our culture by both men and women. This is likely due to the increased pornographic and sexualized nature of our society. More than 40 percent of men ages 25 to 59 claim to have engaged in anal sex with a woman at least once in their lifetime(2). Younger adults are far more likely to engage in this activity than older adults(3).

Like oral sex, anal sex needs to be defined as sex and is forbidden outside of marriage (1 Timothy 5:2)

There is no clear text that forbids this activity in the Bible. Some think Genesis 19, which references the sexual activities in Sodom, prohibits anal sex. The sin of Sodom was not anal sex between a husband and wife, but rather homosexual sex between men, which the Bible clearly forbids (Lev. 18:22; 20:13; Rom. 1:26–27; 1 Cor. 6:9–11; 1 Tim. 1:9–10; Jude 17).

The question remains, is this type of sexual activity helpful? This part of the body contains no natural lubrication. It is also a delicate part of the body that tears more easily and can become infected if torn. Homosexuals are known to suffer undesirable side effects from penetration in this area. Many Christian couples have chosen that while there is no clear teaching against this activity in Scripture, the risks are too great. It is an activity in which they do not participate.

As a general rule, if either a husband or wife feels pain, shame or is harmed in a sexual activity, it should not be done. Unless both a husband and wife have no reservations about this matter, it is unwise to engage in this act.

(1) Herbenick et al., “Sexual Behavior in the United States,” 255–65.
(2) Herbenick et al., “Sexual Behavior in the United States.” 255–65.
(3) Reece et al., “Sexual Behaviors, Relationships, and Perceived Health Among Adult Men in the United States,” 291–304.