Should A Christian Woman Wear A Bikini?

Whether or not to wear a bikini is a question many women struggle with, but for a Christian woman, the issue takes on additional implications. The Bible tells us that God calls women to modesty, which means to not draw attention to themselves. Read More...

How Do I Respond To A Mother-In-Law Who Is Overbearing Or Controlling?

A meddling mother-in-law that intrudes into the lives of her son/daughter and son-in-law/daughter-in-law is what the Bible calls a “busybody” (1 Timothy 5:13). The meaning of the Greek word that is translated “busybody” in the 1 Timothy passage means “a self-appointed overseer in other men’s matters.” Overseeing is what some mothers-in-law are engaged in. This kind of behavior is annoying, very frustrating, and contrary to God’s plan for the family. Read More...

How Do I Break My Porn Addiction?

Porn addiction is at record levels. The pervasive use of the Internet, ease of access to porn sites and advertisements that push nudity make porn hard to fight. 50 percent of men look at porn regularly. 25 percent of all Internet searches are porn related. A third of those looking at Internet porn are women.1

The results are devastating. Men and women are rotting sexually from the inside out as they drink from the toilet. Porn tears apart marriages. It emasculates men. It cuts off male leadership at the knees.

If this is you, what can you do to break free?
Read More...

How Far is Too Far Before Marriage?

So how far is too far before marriage? That is a great question. The Bible doesn’t have a verse that says a boy should never kiss his girlfriend. It doesn’t have a verse that says a young man and woman should not go for a walk in the park and hold hands. How far is too far? Many young Christians want to honor God in this area, but with the pressure of living in a sexuality saturated society and the growing biblical ignorance of many young adults, most young Christians just don’t know what the Bible says about premarital sex.
Read More...

Isn’t It Smarter to Live Together Before We Marry So We Know If We Are Compatible?

This is a common question. It puzzles me. What is it that might be incompatible? If your personalities are incompatible, you need to get to know each other better, not move in. Are you wondering if you are physically compatible? Unless one of you is a guppy and the other an elephant, physical incompatibilities should not be an issue. The mechanics of intimacy are relatively straight-forward.
Read More...

I Am a Widow Getting Remarried. What Pitfalls Should I Avoid?

When I was a young pastor, an older couple shared with me one particular pitfall of remarriage to avoid. I haven’t forgotten their words.
Read More...

My Husband Is Not Really Interested In Sex Anymore, But I Am. Now What?

There may be a variety of issues behind this. As men age, their testosterone level decreases. In addition, if a man’s health begins to decline on account of obesity, lack of exercise or stress, his interest in sexual activity will decrease.
Read More...

At What Age Should You Start Thinking/Seriously Considering Getting Married?

This is not a one-size-fits-all question but here are some general principles to help.
Read More...

As a Young Person in College, How Do I Stand Up For Myself When I Don’t Want To Take That Step In a Relationship, But Feel It Is What The Next Step Is. Is Any Form Of Sexual Action a Sin?

I am not sure I totally understand the question when you say, “stand up for yourself.” It sounds like you are being pressured towards marriage but you are not interested/ready for marriage.
Read More...

Is There Just One Person God Wants Me To Marry?

Many young people are paralyzed with this question. They ask God for the Shekinah glory to shine like a halo around the head of the one they are to marry. They want to know without a shadow of doubt, they found the right mate. Last time I checked, men or women with glowing halos are hard to find. I wouldn’t recommend holding out for that option.
Read More...

How Does a Husband/Wife Cope With The Issue of Past Sexual Abuse When It Comes To the Marriage Bed And The Fears/Tensions It Leaves?

Past sexual abuse is particularly damaging to women. Previous sexual experiences cast a long shadow on present day intimacy. This is especially true if first sexual experiences are abusive in nature. A woman who is sexually abused can begin to associate all forms of sexual intimacy, even with a loving spouse, as abusive.
Read More...

How Do I Know If My Spouse Is The One God Wants For Me If We Met And Married When We Were Not Believers?

This is an easy question. If you are married, you are with the right one! Marriage are not like cars, they do not come with a transmission that can move you backwards and forwards. There is only one gear and that is straight ahead! When you face marital problems, you focus on working through them, not escaping them and wondering if you married the wrong person.
Read More...

Is Divorce Ever An Option?

There are biblically acceptable grounds for divorce. Experience has shown me these grounds are rarely met in most divorce cases. Since this is a complex issue where good biblical scholars disagree, I put together a few key biblical principles to help guide our thinking in this area.
Read More...

Is It Sinful To Put Your Daughter On Birth Control?

This is a great question. When a daughter is dating, parents are always concerned her boyfriend will not treat her with respect and purity. Parents are not only concerned their daughter could lose her virginity, they are concerned she will conceive a child out of wed-lock.
Read More...

Is Any Form of Sexual Contact Permissible? Can I Go By The Rule That As Long As Nobody Gets Hurt, It Is OK?

The New Testament contains two letters Paul wrote to the city of Corinth. After examining these letters, it doesn’t take long to realize the city of Corinth was a city struggling with sexual sin. It was a city that housed the temple of Aphrodite. Worship in the temple involved use of one of the over one thousand temple prostitutes in employed. The nickname for a prostitue in the ancient world was “a Corinthian girl.” Fornication in Greek was nicknamed “Corinthianizing.” Without a doubt, this was a city caught in a web of sexual sin.
Read More...

How Do I Tell My Kids Premarital Sex Is Wrong When I Indulged In It Myself?

This is not hard to answer. Simply tell your kids you messed up. You sinned and you regret it. You don’t want your children to make the same mistakes you did and pay the same, or an even steeper, consequences.
Read More...

What Should I Do If My Spouse Is Not Taking Good Care of Himself/Herself?

First, be gentle when you talk with your spouse on this issue. Find the right time and do not speak in anger or frustration.  When you talk, tell them what you find attractive about them beyond the physical. Praise them as a mate and friend.
Read More...

Is It Acceptable For a Wife To Wear Revealing Clothing At Home?

As a general rule, men are highly visual. Men find revealing clothing attractive.
Read More...

Why Did God Create Marriage?

God created the institution of marriage to be a living picture that helps us comprehend the relationship of Christ to his church. Ephesians 5 unpacks this and challenges our 21st century understanding of marriage.
Read More...

What If a Job Comes Between a Couples Love Life?

Cindy and I understand this challenge. In the first year of our marriage, Cindy worked 12 hour shifts at night, while I attended school during the day. I remember asking her to listen to one of my first sermons in our apartment. I stacked cardboard boxes on top of one another in the living room to form a make-shift pulpit. It was 7:00 in the morning, Cindy just arrived home from work. She agreed to be my practice congregation as she slouched in a chair in front of me. Two minutes into my first sermon, she was sound asleep. That was not a good omen for the future! We knew jobs needed to change. They eventually did.
Read More...

Is It Wrong For a Couple To Have Sex Anally or Orally?

Oral sex is increasingly popular, especially with the younger generation. Many young adults consider it no more forbidden than kissing. This is a good reminder that parents should not only teach their children about abstinence but explain to them that oral sex is still sex and is not permissible before marriage. Statistically, 61 percent of teenage girls claim to have performed oral sex.(1)

0---solomon-on-sex---nc-17-warning
Read More...

How Often Should a Married Couple Be Intimate?

Sex is not like vitamins. It doesn’t come with a recommended daily allowance. That being said, the most vocal complaint in marriages is that it is not enjoyed frequently enough.

0---solomon-on-sex---nc-17-warning
Read More...

What Do You Do When Your Husband Works Long Hours And You Have Little Time For a Date or Money for a Babysitter?

This is a great question. The economy is not great. People just can’t go out to fancy restaurants. If mom is the primary care giver because you have kids and dad is the primary income, that means you probably won’t have a lot of extra income floating around. You have to be prudent with your money. Here are a few ideas:
Read More...

I Am Single, Should I Use a Dating Web Site Like Eharmony.com or Christianmingle.com

The web brought a new dynamic to relationships. It is possible to meet and converse on-line with people you would never normally meet. While this new virtual reality provides exciting opportunities to meet Christians, it also provides a unique set of pitfalls. Here are a few things to remember when using the internet to meet new people.
Read More...

I Am a Wife Who Has Had Many Children. I Would Like to Get Breast Augmentation and/or Cosmetic Surgery For My Stomach. Is This Okay?

This is between you, your spouse, your doctor and the Lord. There are health risks to consider. A woman should make this a matter of prayer, asking God to help her understand her motives. These kind of surgeries are not wrong in themselves. They are done for survivors of cancer and other deforming diseases. It is not necessarily wrong for a woman to have these types of surgeries if her intent is to please her husband.

0---solomon-on-sex---nc-17-warning
Read More...

Can Someone Be An Openly Gay Christian?

To answer this, it will be helpful to break this question down.
Read More...

Should I Tell My Spouse If I Look at Internet Porn?

Yes. This is a serious issue. Not only have you sinned against God, you have sinned against your spouse. Pornography will affects the intimacy in your marriage. Frequently, your spouse will be able to sense your distance and guilt. Pornography causes a spouse to suffer, even if it isn’t confessed to them.
Read More...

Is It Sinful to Be Sterilized?

Sterilization poses a significant issue if only because of how many people are resorting to it. Studies done in the 1970s show sterilization is the most frequently used form of contraception in the world, and as of 1979, the second most frequently used among Americans. By 1976, 30 percent of all widowed, divorced and separated women and single mothers aged fifteen to forty-four in the U.S. had been surgically sterilized. Nearly the same percent among all U.S. married couples had at least one partner sterilized. By 1977 nearly ten million persons in the U.S. had been sterilized. Those figures include an average of one million per year from 1974 to 1977.(1)
Read More...

If Wife Constantly Says “No,” Is It Acceptable For a Husband to Stimulate Himself?

The second part of this question is answered in another article on masturbation. The real issue is the first part of the question. Why is a wife constantly saying, “No” to marital intimacy?

0---solomon-on-sex---nc-17-warning
Read More...

I Am Living With My Fiancé. We Are Having Sex. How Do I Talk To Him About Waiting?

Just tell him you are done having sex until you are married. I don’t care where you tell him or when you tell him, just tell him. Tell him today, not next week. I know he won’t like it. He needs to move out. You need separate places to live. Don’t tell me you can’t afford two separate places. You can’t afford NOT to honor God. The damage you are causing from your sin far outweighs anything it will cost in cash to live in abstinence until your wedding. If he can’t afford to move out, you shouldn’t be getting married to him because he is not prepared to take on the manly responsibility of a wife.
Read More...

Why Do Young Men Have Such Strong Sexual Desires?

I like the way Mark Driscoll answered this question. To motivate them to grow up so they can take a wife. Nearly every man wants to have sex and has a strong sexual desire. Those desires should motivate him to study hard, walk faithfully with God, compete courageously in life, leave home and pursue a career where he can support himself and a family. Then, when God blesses him by bringing the woman he should marry into his life, he can marry her and be a blessing to her, not a burden on her.
Read More...

I Was Intimate With a Previous Woman. How Will That Affect My Future Marriage?

The first thing to avoid is the false understanding that your previous sin won’t affect your marriage. Sin affects. That’s the nature of sin. It is destructive by nature. Can the affects of premarital sin be overcome? Yes. Jesus died to forgive sin and to make us into a new creation.
Read More...

What Are Some Common Reasons Marital Sex Is Not Enjoyable?

There are a number of reasons why marital sex may not be enjoyable:

0---solomon-on-sex---nc-17-warning
Read More...

What About Masturbation? I Can’t Find Anything In The Bible About This?

In an effort to be helpful, let me address this both biblically and practically. First, we need to define it. Masturbation is genital self-pleasuring. I am not counting as masturbation genital pleasuring between a married couple. What a married couple does together is for their pleasure and freedom. What I am referring to by masturbation is self-pleasuring done in isolation, which is usually accompanied by unbiblical lust.

0---solomon-on-sex---nc-17-warning
Read More...

What Can I Do To Stop Being Tempted Sexually?

Hebrews 4:15 tells us Jesus was tempted in every way as we are, yet he did not sin. Because Jesus was a fully human virgin male, we can safely assume that some of the temptations he faced were sexual in nature. Jesus never gave in to those temptations. He is our sinless and perfect God.
Read More...

Is It a Sin To Notice a Woman is Beautiful?

No. It is not a sin.
Read More...

At What Age Should a Parent Speak to Their Child About Sex?

Christian parents should be the first to speak to their children on these issues. The best age to speak to a child on these issues varies but if a parent is to err, it is better to err by bringing up this subject too early than too late.
Read More...

What About Birth Control?

The number of birth control options continues to increase, so has the need for discernment in using them. To help understand the options available, we can differentiate them by breaking them into five different categories.
Read More...

Is It True That God Will Not Hear the Prayers of Someone In Sexual Sin?

If you are a Christian who has committed or is committing sexual sin, the shame and the guilt of your sin will certainly make you feel distant from God. Sexual sin does have ramifications for our prayer life and our relationship with God.
Read More...

How Do You Recover From Being Betrayed Sexually and Learn to Forgive and Trust Your Spouse Again?

This is a huge issue. Restoration will not happen overnight. It needs prayer and patience to rebuild the broken trust. Sometimes you need someone beside yourselves, like a pastor or elder, to help walk you though this.
Read More...

How Far Is Too Far?

How far is too far sexually? When do we cross the line? The Bible is clear sex before marriage is not God’s desire for us,...

  • 1 Corinthians 6:9 - Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
  • 2 Corinthians 12:21 - I fear that when I come again my God may humble me before you, and I may have to mourn over many of those iwho sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual immorality, and sensuality that they have practiced.
  • Ephesians 5:5 - For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (vthat is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
  • Colossians 3:5-6 - Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, nwhich is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming.
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:3 - For this is the will of God, iyour sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
  • 1 Timothy 1:8-10 - Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine,
  • Hebrews 13:4 - Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
  • Jude 7 - just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and spursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.
Read More...