If you’re single and searching for the right person, I want to help you out today. Outside of your decision about Jesus, who you choose to marry is the most important decision you’ll ever make. And here’s the thing — you might think that being single is the worst thing that can happen to you. It’s not. The worst thing is being married and wishing you were still single! So today I’m going to give you five things to look for when you date all wrapped around the letter C. The first and most important question is, "Does this person love Christ?"
2 Corinthians 6:14 tells us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. That can feel frustrating. It shrinks your dating pool overnight. But here’s why it matters. Think of it like two builders working on the same house with completely different blueprints. Nothing would line up. Nothing would fit. The longer the builders work together, the more frustrating their relationship becomes. That’s exactly what happens when a believer and a non-believer try to build a life together. You end up with different values, different priorities, and different plans for the future. And missionary dating — where you date someone hoping to convert them — it almost never works. More often than not, instead of pulling someone up, they end up pulling you down. Even Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, who had God appear to him twice, had his heart turned away by marryng women who didn’t share his faith. Make sure you date a growing Christian, not just someone going through the motions. Is their calling compatible with yours?
Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to meet?” If God gave you the dream of teaching in the inner city but you date someone who dreams of milking cows on a farm, you’ve got a problem. It’s not just about careers. Some people never want to leave their hometown. Others want to travel the world. Make sure you’re heading in the same direction before you get too deep into a relationship. Are they a person of character? A relationship can begin without good character, but it can’t survive without it. Look for three things. First, honesty. If someone is willing to lie to you now, it only gets worse later. Watch for white lies, exaggerations, half-truths — those are red flags. Second, responsibility. That fun, spontaneous, carefree personality might be exciting at first. But six months in, “spontaneous” turns into “irresponsible.” Look at how they handle their job, their finances, their health. Third, vitality. You want someone with enough depth to keep life interesting. Someone who’s always growing, always trying new things. After the newness of dating wears off, if neither of you can fight off routine and boredom, you’re in trouble. Do you have quality communication? I’m not talking about how much you talk or text. I’m talking about depth. Can you connect on a heart-level? Can you talk about what really matters — your fears, your dreams, your faith in Jesus? Even as a pastor who gets paid to talk, I have to work on this at home. Communication is the hinge that relationships swing. If you can’t have deep communicaiton, real intimacy will always be out of reach. Is there chemistry? This one’s obvious. There has to be attraction. But here’s the key: you need to be attracted to the whole person. Their personality, their smile, the way they respond under pressure — not just their appearance. If there’s a part of them you can’t stand now, trust me, it only gets worse with time. So there are the five C’s to look for in a date: Christ, Calling, Character, Communication, and Chemistry. If you’re single and searching, don’t settle. Ask these questions.
1. CHRIST
2. CALLING
3. CHARACTER
4. COMMUNICATION
5. CHEMISTRY
