Many young people are paralyzed with this question. They ask God for the Shekinah glory to shine like a halo around the head of the one they are to marry. They want to know without a shadow of doubt, they found the right mate. Last time I checked, men or women with glowing halos are hard to find. I wouldn’t recommend holding out for that option.

While God can supernaturally reveal the identity of our spouse, that is not usually the way he works. God tells us to date people who fall within certain guardrails, then, to spend time growing a friendship. In that process, we are to trust God will providentially bring the right person across our path in the right time. Our primary job is not to look for a mysterious stamp of approval on someone of the opposite sex but to focus on becoming the kind of man or woman God wants us to be. As we pursue spiritual maturity, God will bring that person across our path in his time.

A great example of how to find the right spouse is found in Genesis 24. In the story, Abraham needs to find a wife for his son Isaac. The story suggests some principles to follow as we look for a spouse.

The Right Spouse Will Be Someone Who Loves Jesus.

Now Abraham was old, well advanced in years. And the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things. And Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh, that I may make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell, but will go to my country and to my kindred, and take a wife for my son Isaac.” The servant said to him, “Perhaps the woman may not be willing to follow me to this land. Must I then take your son back to the land from which you came?” Genesis 24:1–5 (ESV)

Abraham was adamant that the right wife for his son would be someone who loves a worships God. Finding the right spouse always begins with finding someone who is passionately in love with Jesus.

The Right Wife Will Desire To Be a Helpmate For Her Husband’s Calling.

The servant said to him, “Perhaps the woman may not be willing to follow me to this land. Must I then take your son back to the land from which you came?” Abraham said to him, “See to it that you do not take my son back there. The Lord, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my kindred, and who spoke to me and swore to me, ‘To your offspring I will give this land,’ he will send his angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. But if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be free from this oath of mine; only you must not take my son back there.” So the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master and swore to him concerning this matter. Genesis 24:5–9 (ESV)

Abraham was sure the right woman for his son would be willing to be his son’s helpmate. She would support him in what God was doing in their family’s life.

Prayerfully ask God to bring your future mate across your path.

Then the servant took ten of his master’s camels and departed, taking all sorts of choice gifts from his master; and he arose and went to Mesopotamia to the city of Nahor. And he made the camels kneel down outside the city by the well of water at the time of evening, the time when women go out to draw water. And he said, “O Lord, God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today and show steadfast love to my master Abraham. Genesis 24:10–12 (ESV)

Abraham’s servant prayerfully sought the right woman. He understood that finding the right girl would not be something he did in his own strength but it was a gift he needed from God. As you search for your mate, ask for God’s hand in the process.

You will know the right spouse by their excellent Godly character.

She said, “Drink, my lord.” And she quickly let down her jar upon her hand and gave him a drink. When she had finished giving him a drink, she said, “I will draw water for your camels also, until they have finished drinking.” So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough and ran again to the well to draw water, and she drew for all his camels. The man gazed at her in silence to learn whether the Lord had prospered his journey or not. Genesis 24:18–21 (ESV)

While Abraham’s servant was asking God to providentially reveal a wife for Isaac, he didn’t neglect to examine the character of the prospects. He looked for a woman who demonstrated Godly character, kindness, humility and compassion.